I'm going to have you fired.

This morning, my alarm went off to NPR as it usually does. I woke up to hear excerpts of the Santaland Diaries. I smiled and listened, remembering Carrie's amazing rendition.

There is a bit that goes like this:

There was a line for Santa and a line for the women's bathroom, and one woman, after asking me a dozen questions already, asked, "Which is the line for the women's bathroom?" I shouted that I thought it was the line with all the women in it.

She said, "I'm going to have you fired."

I had two people say that to me today. "I'm going to have you fired." Go ahead, be my guest. I'm wearing a green velvet costume; it doesn't get any worse than this. Who do these people think they are?

"I'm going to have you fired!" and I wanted to lean over and say, "I'm going to have you killed."

Carrie did that part so well. She also specialized in the "step on the magic star and you'll see Cher!" bit. She had the perfect sarcastic voice to emulate David Sedaris. She practiced that one for a long time, and I remember she recited it at a few forensics meets. I got to see her practice it at home. I really miss Carrie's heavy sarcasm and light sense of humor.

Carrie's sense of humor has rubbed off on Scott and Nora. Those two are hilarious! I can't wait to go home and see them this Christmas season.

Merry Christmas all!