02 June 2005
Nora
I've written about this before, but I want to say some more things. I read over all these submissions, and decided to write some more. Right now I'm going through a lot. My best friend moved last year. So I made a new BEST friend, personally, almost a better friend. She was awesome, and I couldn't imagine her not there. But now she's moving, tomorrow. And I just want to say how I feel, almost 3 years after her death.
I cry a lot more than before. And I try not to cry at school. Everyone teases me, calls me crybaby, and they won't leave me alone! Basically what happened was this, and I'll tell you what I feel like afterwards. I'll try not to do it too long, but who knows.
When I was 9, mom came up to me and told me the terrifying news.
"Carrie has lukiemia." At that time, I didn't really know what that was. If you know me, you know I'm not afraid to ask questions. So I did.
"What's that?"
"Cancer."
"Oh."
I'm skipping all the parts in between, but a week before she died, the whole week, we did what she wanted to do. Finally,
"Nora, NORA!"
"Huh, wha...zzzzz"
"Nora, wake up." My mom was trying to wake me up.
"Why?"
"Come to my bed to find out!" My mom made it sound urgent. Now right before we hear bad news, we always think it's something not so bad. Like, 'Scott broke his index finger' or, 'Prudence is on the phone. She says it's urgent.' You know? But I couldn't think of something that couldn't wait until morning. So I had to ask again.
"Why, tell me!"
"Come to my bed." My mom sounded so sad. So I got up, and crawled to their room, almost falling asleep on the way. I got there. Scott wasn't there yet, so I went back to sleep. They woke me up when Scott came. I couldn't sit up, or even open my eyes. And could you blame me? This was like, my 4th and a half hour of sleep so far. I was too tired to talk, so Scott said It.
"What's the news?" My mom took a deep breath and said,
"Carrie's died." I shot up, but not only sat up, I stood and started blabbing a mile a minute.
"What? no! It can't be!" I shook my head, but then realized they wouldn't joke about something like this, so I started sobbing.
I feel miserable, now. I'm going through a lot that no one but Carrie can help me with. Prudence is moving, she's now the school's gossip, and I can't handle it. My social worker sucks, and I just really need someone just who will listen, not laugh at me for crying. I don't even need advice, just someone to listen. I don't know what to do without Carrie!