23 January 2008
Luke Shepard
My golden birthday was when I turned 18. Carrie was 15 at the time. I remember briefly talking about golden birthdays with her. She told me what she wanted to do on hers ... it was sort of a big deal. But the frustrating thing about the passage of time is that you forget. I now find it difficult to out of the blue think of memories like this one. So instead, I imagine what she would have done instead.
Nora, Scott, Hassan and my parents came out to San Francisco over Christmas. We did a lot of stuff, and spent more family time than we've gotten for a long time. We witnessed the beauty of Yosemite and Muir woods in winter; imagined ourselves as prisoners at Alcatraz; biked across the Golden Gate bridge (well, almost); ate a huge meal for Christmas. Carrie would have loved all of that. Her friends Shira Miller and Debbie Schwartz live out in the Bay Area now, and they are both campaigning for Obama. I just saw them last weekend at the Nevada caucuses. Marilyn Niznik wrote us a note to let us know that she got married! I love to see and hear from her old friends, because I feel connected to her through them.
For Carrie's 23rd, I imagine her out in San Francisco with Nicole and I, campaigning hard for Obama in the days before his election. I know that when she died he was just an unknown state senator, but I think she would have liked him. I also think of how much she would have liked San Francisco. It's got that hip, healthy, liberal, educated, quirky big city feel. There's a lot of theater and interesting people. Maybe she'd drive out in her Miata.
So much has changed since 2003, and it seems to just change more quickly. Nora is in 8th grade, looking forward to high school either at Loyola or ETHS. Scott is hosting an exchange student and eagerly waiting acceptance letters from colleges, while planning a yearlong trip to Japan. My mom is a real teacher (finally!) and my dad is involved in whatever sorts of nefarious, er, interesting operations with my uncle Joe. Oh, and I got married and live in fricking California, working for a company that didn't exist when she died.
Carrie, I miss you, and I hope you're having a damn good golden birthday.