D-Day

As of yesterday, it's been three years since we got the news that Carrie had contracted Leukemia. I learned from Carrie that for those with cancer, it is a day that they share with each other and talk about frequently. At the time, none of us was very familiar with the disease. Everything moved so fast that day and obviously, I remember certain pieces quite well.

I remember the matter-of-fact manner that Carrie's oncologist explained the prognosis and treatment options. For us, of course, it was a bizarre day down the rabbit hole but Dr. Morgan seemed so rational about the whole process. I realized later that for Dr. Morgan, this was her normal life. When Dr. Morgan said that Carrie might become infertile, Carrie responded quite easily that this was not a problem because she could adopt. I remember being humbled when she said that. She was so deeply connected to other people in the world, that for her the choice of adopting was naturally equivalent to raising her own child.

It's well over a year now since she died. In retrospect, I suppose it really doesn't matter how long we live. I am not sure what does matter, but for me, it might as well be to live a life of integrity, courage and generosity. She had all of that in spades, so in many ways I suppose she lived a fuller life than most.