Car Music

It was the summer of 2002. I remember about a million little memories from that summer. God, it was a good one!

One of the on going themes of that summer was music in Carrie's car. She always said that the person in the passenger seat could put on whatever they wanted, but I would always defer to her choice. Carrie was the master of the radio. So, it was the summer of country music and David Gray. White Ladder never left the discman, and the 99.5 preset button became well worn. We drove a lot. I can’t remember where.

We’d listen to the songs over and over again. The first four tracks of the White Ladder album would get us from my house to youth group, and if the song wasn’t over by the time we were there, we’d have to circle a little bit until it was. I hounded Carrie often to let me borrow the CD, so that I could copy it. This would lead to long winded conversations about intellectual property and the rights of artist and how if I liked the CD so much, I should just shell out the cash. Not to mention that the CD wasn’t even hers. It was Marybeth’s, and how could you lend something that wasn’t yours?!? For my birthday, she burned me a copy. We had a laugh about it. “So much for intellectual property,” I said. “Don’t start with me,” she replied.

In the weeks leading up to Carrie’s death and the weeks following, White Ladder was the CD that never left my stereo. The final song of the album, “Say Hello, Wave Goodbye”, played on repeat. I learned the chords, and sang/cried the song over and over again. In her car we’d sing the songs together, quietly, as if the other wouldn’t hear that we were singing. I thought that maybe Carrie was still singing along, but more quietly than usual.

“Standin at the door of the pink Flamingo, cryin in the rain”

I love you, Carrie, I miss singing with you,

John