18 April 2004
Amelia Fedo
Carrie babysat me when I was in grade school at King Lab. It seemed like one day she was at King Lab, and the next she was at high school. She was so great, we would play games and once I remember we ate packaged sushi up on the jungle gym at the park one evening. My dad would always buy sushi because it was a vegetarian food we both liked. It was so cool she was a vegetarian, it takes a lot of discipline and willpower. I tried to do it but I started eating meat after about a week.
Sometimes after playing a board game or something she would get books out of her backpack and study. She was such a good student.
Whenever my parents said they were going out to dinner or something and they had to find a babysitter, I would always hope it was Carrie. I particularly remember one evening it was twilight outside, and the thing that appealed to me to do at the moment, to my 10-year-old mind, was roll a beach ball down the hallway. But she didn't try and get me to do something else, she just played my little beach ball game with me, and I thought that was the coolest thing.
I always felt safe with her. Sometimes babysitters scared me because they were a little bit strict, or mean, or something, but I always felt really safe with Carrie.
I remember during Lent she told me how she was making a Lenten promise to do calisthenics every day for 10 minutes, because that way she was giving up time out of her day. I thought that that was really conscientious. I wasn't eating meat or dessert for Lent but I wasn't giving anything up either, and I remembering thinking "Man she's got willpower."
She organized a scavenger hunt for me with Post-Its and it led to the freezer with a bowl of ice cream for dessert...
Once my family and I went over to her house for dinner. I saw her only at dinner, because I spent most of my time up in Scott's room. When I saw her at dinner I remember she had a shoelace through the eyelets of her blouse. Luke teased her good-naturedly about it, and I said, "Well, I like it," and she said "THANK you, Amelia!" And we laughed. After dinner we watched a show on tv about someone whose hands' touch had therapeutic powers, and he had to help someone who was in a coma from being underwater too long. There was this scene where he was psychically rescuing her water, and Carrie said, "I hate water..." I said, "But don't you like swimming?" And she said, "I like swimming, but I hate water." And then I knew what she was talking about, because I felt that way too. Water as an element scares me, but I like to swim.
When I heard that Carrie had leukemia, I was distressed but not anxious, because I thought that she would recover. I had this optimistic idea about cancer because my mom had breast cancer and recovered. When it was getting worse I was mad because she was in high shcool and should have been out enjoying herself. I hoped she would get better before going off to college. I thought she would be okay.
I just don't get why she died. It's not supposed to happen. She was a great student, smart, kind, fun, and beautiful. She was about to go to college.
I know that when someone has died, people always say this stuff about them. But Carrie really WAS all of these things. She's like an artist who's truly good, so they're famous BEFORE they die.
I think we will all see her again someday.