10 July 2005
Nora
2 years ago, even when Carrie was sick, 2 days before she died, we all went to the fireworks, as a family. And we had the best spot, every year. This was just like the years of fireworks before then, get together with the Sullivans, and then go. Grab the best spot, and watch them. The best part is, though, that I was with my family. Last year, I went to the fireworks, and we got a decent spot, and it was fun, but it wasn't with my family. This year, I went with the Starrs, and not only was it not with my family, it was like it wasn't with any family. Because I missed Carrie, not to mention we got horrible seats.
My mom doesn't want to go to the fireworks anymore. She says that "I may someday want to go, but not for a while." She says it's because it was the last thing she did with Carrie that Carrie enjoyed, and she can't do it anymore without thinking of her.
I still miss Carrie, and i don't think that I'll ever get over it, for that matter. But I think that I can adjust, since I know she won't come back. I'll still pray to her, and miss her, and love her, but I don't think I'll ever forget her.
We can do a new tradition, instead of the fireworks. We can keep some old ones, but to replace some, we could make some new ones, too. I'm excited to grow bigger over that, and still ask for help at the same time.